24

I think maybe 23 was the best year of my life so far. 

God answered a lot of prayers…some prayers that I had prayed a long time and many new prayers.

There have been multiple times this past year when I’ve legitimately just paused to take a deep breath in because the blessings are so overwhelmingly wonderful. It’s like when you walk into the kitchen and the food smells amazing, so you just need a minute to stand there and inhale the aromas.

(For the record, that would probably not happen in MY kitchen because there are very few food aromas happening there at the moment…)

Remember when I talked about living the surprised life?

Friends, my King has surprised me over and over this past year.

He delights in bringing me joy. His mercies are truly new every morning. His faithfulness never ends.

As I’ve been reflecting on this past year with Jesus, I’ve had this deep stirring in my heart about what I want my life to look like this next year. Last year, I really focused on His faithfulness. This year, I want to live a life of praise. A life filled with gratitude over the stories that don’t make sense apart from Christ.

I was on a jog/walk the other day thinking about this when I passed some flooded fields. The water in the fields looked like it contained clouds. But obviously that wasn’t the case–the scene in the water was simply a reflection of the reality in the sky.

That’s what I want for my life…to be a reflection of the reality of my King. I want to remember and be excited about all the stories that don’t make sense apart from Him. The times when He’s come through for me in major ways. The times when He’s given me the desires of my heart. The times when He’s lovingly changed the desires of my heart. The times when He’s called me out of my comfort zone so I can learn He is worthy of my trust. The random strangers He’s put in my path who have spoken His truth over me. The random strangers He’s put in my path so I can speak His truth over them. The strangers who become friends and then best friends and then family. 

And I want new stories like that. But I don’t want the story to end with me–I want people to hear those stories and see my life…and be awakened to the reality of my King. 

I’m not sure what this year has in store. There are some big changes coming up. And sometimes that seems scary. But I don’t want to worship the idol of knowing. I don’t want to worship the idol of fear or anxiety or doubt or selfishness or pride. I want to wholeheartedly worship the One True King.

The One who takes me on the best adventures. The One that will continue to hold my hand as we go through new adventures. The One who makes me brave. The One who loves me unconditionally, specifically, and intentionally. 

I’ve had 23 years of adventures with my Jesus.

Here’s to making it 24. 

God’s grace in my life:

He has shown Himself so faithful this past year! I can’t even count all the blessings. He enabled me to finish my first year of med school with joy, enjoy a bunch of awesome vacations with my family, travel to California for the “summer that lasts a lifetime” where I discovered how much I absolutely LOVE leading worship. So many awesome new relationships were formed. I dug into the truth that He makes beautiful things out of us…He takes our brokenness aside and makes it beautiful. I hid more of His Word in my heart.

I haven’t loved med school this year, but His grace is evident even in that, I know that He has a plan–my worth and joy come not from med school (thank God), but from knowing Jesus. And Jesus is with me even when I don’t like where I am. He’s taught me to see my life as worship and as a sacrifice poured out for Him. So there is joy even in the not-so-fun times. Seeing Him answer prayers from last year just reminds me over and over again how faithful He is. I’m so glad to know the Author of my story. There is such joy and freedom in being the daughter of the King. Christ is enough.

The Surprised Life

The Lord your God is with you,

He is mighty to save. 

He will take great delight in you, 

He will quiet you with His love, 

He will rejoice over you with singing. 

-Zephaniah 3:17

The King of the Universe take great delight in me. The King of the Universe takes great delight in you. Just try to let that sink in. I’m still trying to comprehend that mystery.

A couple weeks ago, I was spending some alone time with Jesus and decided to stop talking to Him and give Him a chance to talk to me. Right before I dropped her off at the airport, Valerie Elliot Shepard (daughter of Jim and Elisabeth Elliot) encouraged me to take time to be still in the presence of God and listen for His voice. So I did. Just 9 measly minutes. But He spoke. Not in a loud audible voice, but in a quiet heart voice. He reminded me that He is my source of joy…but then He went one step further. He made clear to me that He gets joy from doing things that will bring me joy. 

Did you catch that? 

The King of the Universe receives joy when He gives me joy.

My Heavenly Father rejoices when He gets to surprise and delight His children.

“He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.”

And so this idea of the “surprised life” began stirring in my soul. 

I want to be ever on the lookout for God’s marvelous surprises. It’s not a question that they’re there…it’s just a matter of me recognizing the surprises. 

The greatest surprise of all is that the King of the Universe came to earth as a baby, lived a faultless life, died on my behalf, rose in His power, and did all that so I can be reconciled to God. And now He delights in spending time with me. This relationship cost Him His life, yet He loved me enough to sacrifice His life. That’s a mind-blowing surprise and I still haven’t quite recovered from that…still living in the aftermath of a heart radically transformed by grace.

So peel your eyes away from the screens and the to-do lists today…look up. Log off Facebook, forget about Instagram, disregard Twitter…stop comparing yourself to the “presented” versions of your friends on social media. Stop wishing for another life. This is your life. This. Right now.

And get excited that this is your life. Have a childlike faith that your Father is waiting to surprise you. He longs to be gracious to you. His mercies are new every morning. 

Join me in living the surprised life.

Jesus gives the best surprises

Surprised by this God who delights in bringing us joy. (Zeph. 3:17)

Surprised by this King who bends down and listens to us. (Psalm 116:2)

Surprised by this Father who rises to show us compassion. (Isaiah 30:18)

Keep your eyes open, dear friends, and watch in awe and wonder as this King delights in you today. 

You are so loved.

xoxo

God’s grace in my life:

He replaces discontentment with joy. The solution to discontentment isn’t getting what you want. It’s realizing you already have what you need. My ultimate need is Jesus. And Jesus is here. Jesus loves me. Whether I feel it or not, the truth remains: my needs have been met- fully satisfied by my Jesus. I will always have a reason for a joy and a reason to sing. JESUS is my reason for joy and my reason to sing. May I never stop preaching the gospel to myself.

23

As most of you loyal readers know, I’m big on birthdays. My birthday is to me what New Year’s Day is to everyone else…which of course means that the night before my birthday is pretty important. I always take some time to think about how God has blessed me over the past year…and dream about the year to come. 

A couple weeks ago, I googled “songs about being 23” and variations of that phrase. You guys, 23 is a sad age for songs. Thankfully, Taylor Swift is no longer 22, so I’m hoping she gets her head in the game and writes a song for us to enjoy this year. 

Since I couldn’t find a good theme song about being 23, we’ll skip the music (for now) and get straight to the Bible verses. Thankfully, the Bible is filled with solid “vs. 23” in many chapters.

Here are a few of my favorites:

Colossians 3:23-24–Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.

Psalm 23—The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want…

Mark 9:23-24–And Jesus said to him, “‘If you can’! All things are possible for one who believes.” Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, “I believe; help my unbelief!”

Hebrews 10:23—Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.

Lamentations 3:21-23, 24–26

But this I call to mind,
    and therefore I have hope:

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
    His mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
    great is Your faithfulness.
“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
    “therefore I will hope in Him.”

The Lord is good to those who wait for Him,
    to the soul who seeks him.
It is good that one should wait quietly
    for the salvation of the Lord.

That last one is probably my favorite vs. 23: “Great is Your faithfulness.” 

Friends, the Lord has been so gracious and faithful to me. Those of you who have been following this blog from day 1 know my first post was about how God answered my 21st birthday wish…even before my actual birthday! Click the following link if you want the details on my weird wish that He granted: A blog (and baby) is born.

Since then, this blog has helped me document countless ways that He has poured out His grace in my life. I mean, it’s truly amazing to look back and see His faithfulness in the midst of my doubt (2 Tim. 2:13–if we are faithless, He remains faithful). Whether you enjoy writing or not, I encourage you to jot down reminders of God’s grace in your life. Train yourself to see His grace. I’m so thankful for this blog because writing here has helped me to look for His daily grace…and seeing His grace has made my heart grateful beyond belief.

So today, on the night before I turn 23, I’m going to spend some time in prayer thanking the Lord for His faithfulness in my life. I’ve probably witnessed His faithfulness more in this past year than in any other year of my life. So I want to spend tonight, my next year, and the rest of my life proclaiming: “Great is Your faithfulness, Lord!”

As a side note, those of you who know me well know that there are some prayers I’ve been praying for a long time. Some prayers don’t get answered “early” or even “on time” by my standards. But each day is a day to remember that His thoughts are not my thoughts, neither are His ways my ways…His thoughts and ways are higher (Isaiah 55:8-9).

His way is better because His way is perfect.

His timing is perfect.

I’ve said this before and I’ll undoubtedly say it again:

It’s amazing that the One who knows me the best, loves me the most.

I can’t even fathom that kind of love. But I’m living in that love of Christ. And I know that He loves me enough to let me wait until His timing is perfect. Maybe this will be the year that I see my oldest prayers answered with a “yes.” I know my God can do it, but even if He doesn’t, He is still faithful and forever worthy of my praise (Daniel 3:16-18).

So, although the lack of happy 23 songs suggests otherwise, I’m excited to turn 23. The past 22 years of my life have proved God faithful time and time again. I have no doubt that 23 will do the same.

I also have hope that while I’m 23 I will:

-experience the love of Christ in a deeper way (Eph. 3:17-19)

-become more like my Jesus every day (Eph. 5:1-2)

-anchor my life and joy in Christ alone (Heb. 6:19)

-watch Him do imaginably more than all I ask or imagine (Eph. 3:20-21) …(which is saying a lot because I have quite the imagination). 😉

And because my thoughts have background music, here are some lyrics from the 2 songs that ran through my mind:

[Jesus, I am Resting, Resting]

Simply trusting Thee, Lord Jesus,
I behold Thee as Thou art,
And Thy love, so pure, so changeless,
Satisfies my heart;
Satisfies its deepest longings,
Meets, supplies its every need,
Compasseth me round with blessings:
Thine is love indeed!

Jesus, I am resting, resting,
In the joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.

Ever lift Thy face upon me
As I work and wait for Thee;
Resting ’neath Thy smile, Lord Jesus,
Earth’s dark shadows flee.
Brightness of my Father’s glory,
Sunshine of my Father’s face,
Keep me ever trusting, resting,
Fill me with Thy grace.

[Great is Thy Faithfulness]

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth

Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;

Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,

Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

God’s grace in my life today:

Celebrated my birthday over the weekend with my family, was surprised by a cake at Bible study tonight, and had a meaningful patient interaction this morning that reminded me of the importance of listening. God is so good to me.  

Remember, lest you forget

I was reading this morning in 1 Samuel 8. In this chapter, the Israelites decide they want a king so they can be like all the other nations. Samuel is displeased with this request and brings it before the Lord. Verses 7-8 say:

“And the Lord told him: “Listen to all that the people are saying to you; it is not you they have rejected, but they have rejected me as their king. As they have done from the day I brought them up out of Egypt until this day, forsaking me and serving other gods, so they are doing to you.“

As I read that, those words really hit me. Over and over again, God had been good to the Israelites. He had brought them out of Egypt. Parted the water so they could cross the Red Sea. Closed the water behind them so their enemies could not catch them. Provided food from heaven. And so on and so on. Yet the people constantly rejected Him and turned to other gods to satisfy their needs. 

They didn’t remember what He had already done, so they didn’t trust Him with what they needed Him to do.

God has been so good to me. He’s given me amazing parents. He’s blessed me with the funniest guy ever as my brother. He has come through for me time and time again. He’s had His hand on my life in obvious ways. Yet I am so easily distracted and allow the doubts to creep in.

I don’t remember what He has already done, so I don’t trust Him with what I need Him to do.

I will trust You

When I don’t actively remember the times He’s shown Himself faithful, I forget that He will be faithful in this too.

When I don’t actively remember the times He’s protected me by not giving me what I want, I forget that hearing my wise Lord say “no” is a gift rather than a punishment. 

When I don’t actively remember that He’s drawn me closer through Himself through times of blessing and times of loneliness, I forget to thank Him for every season of life.

I will trust You, Lord

But when I remember that His promises never fail, I can cling to His Word and have hope.

When I remember that He answers prayers beyond my wildest dreams, I can dream big and know He is capable of exceeding my expectations.

When I remember that He is always with me, I can go through life with the joy and peace He brings and have confidence in His sovereignty.

I will trust You

When I remember what He has already done, I can trust Him to do what I need Him to do.

I will trust You, Lord

Lest I’m tempted to forget
I’ll tie Your love around my neck
I’ll write Your words upon my heart
Lord, I won’t forget how good You are
I’ll dwell upon Your faithfulness
I’ll rest within Your promises
And when I’m walking through the dark
Lord, I won’t forget how good You are

I will trust
I will trust You
I will trust you, Lord, with all my heart
And I won’t forget how good you are
No, I won’t forget how good You are

You gave me everything I have
And my whole life is in Your hands
When what I fear is closing in
Lord, Your faithfulness will never end
You’re faithfulness will never end

I will trust
I will trust You
I will trust you, Lord, with all my heart
And I won’t forget how good you are
No, I won’t forget how good You are

And even in the darkness
Even in the questions
Even when the hardest times of life are at hand
Even in the darkness
Even in the questions
Even in the times that I’m not meant to understand

I will trust
I will trust You
I will trust You, Lord, with all my heart
And I won’t forget how good You are
No, I won’t forget how good You are

-“Trust” by Matt Hammitt

I will trust You

God’s grace in my life today:

He is patient with me when I doubt and never ceases to lovingly remind me to trust Him at all times.