Dear Facebook/blog friends,
1) Trust Me.
2) Make decisions that will make you more like Me.
Well, the preceptorship has further convinced me that God has really long legs…at least in a metaphorical sense. Whenever I take one little step towards Him, I’ve noticed He makes a much larger leap towards me. This reminds me a bit of the prodigal son walking home in shame to his father… “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him” (Luke 15:20).
That’s how I think God reacts to me a lot. I take one hesitant, reluctant step of faith and my Heavenly Father reacts with such enthusiasm and joy. And then He always makes me more aware of His goodness.
Friends, thank you so much for taking a step of faith to support me financially and/or through prayer. Your support allowed me to attend this preceptorship, which had an eternal impact on my life.
I learned to trust God in a deeper, more meaningful way. Of course, I thought I was doing a fine job of trusting Him. But He used the preceptorship to reveal areas of my life that I was still grasping too tightly and declaring, “Mine!” One thing I’ve learned is that it’s very hard for me to let go of something unless I have something else to hold onto.
Because of the nature of what we were doing—seeing patients in the hospital and attempting to meet their spiritual needs—I was very aware of my own desperate need for Jesus. How could I go into a stranger’s room and assess their spiritual needs by myself? Impossible. I needed the Holy Spirit to work in their hearts and make His voice clear in my head.
Of course, our leaders already knew that and scheduled time every day for us to seek God. Each morning started with me co-leading corporate worship before we all broke into groups of 2-3 to beg God to work through us that day. Then we spent 1-2 hours alone with Jesus. As I spent time alone with Him, I felt like I was rediscovering Him.
Jesus became my best friend again this summer. We had once been best friends, but I had slowly begun to treat Him as an old, familiar friend. But my Jesus is so patient with me. The minute I started to recognize anew my need for Him, He ran to me. He invited me to go on adventures with Him.
As I walked with Jesus, we met so many people together. During a run, He introduced me to a maintenance man, used me to tell the man that Jesus loves him, and nudged me to pray with him. In a young woman’s hospital room, the Holy Spirit prompted me to talk about how Jesus sees her…and then to sing worship songs in her room. As I watched tears stream from her eyes, my own tears began to fall: I was humbled and in awe that Jesus allowed me to accompany Him into her room. In a restaurant, He had me talk with our waitress and offer to pray for her. She began sharing personal information that was really burdening her and I had the opportunity to pray with her and remind her of God’s immense love.
I spent a lot of time giving spiritual care to patients, strangers, and friends at the preceptorship. But I had no idea how much God was going to spiritually care for me. He gave me the perfect roommates who prayed with me, for me, and over me. He gave me the perfect mentor who asked me tough questions and consistently pointed me to God’s Word. He gave me the perfect small group leader (an internal med physician, wife to a psychiatrist, and mother to 3!) who spoke truth into my life, encouraged me to seek God in new ways, and gave me a new passion for prayer. He gave me friends who became family. I’ve always wanted a huge family and now I genuinely have that. I absolutely LOVE my new brothers and sisters. They each point me to Christ, love me for me, and make me laugh until it hurts.
God gave me a lot this summer. I’m eternally grateful for all His blessings and the skills I gained. But above all, I’m thankful that God gave me more of Himself. As I said above, it’s hard for me to let go unless I have something else to hold onto. As God revealed more of His character to me, I began to love Him in a new way.
I no longer need to trust Him simply because He’s my King. I have the joy of trusting Him because He’s my Abba Father, my Best Friend, my Everything.
Like a child on the monkey bars, I had been letting go of one bar to grasp the next bar. This summer, I let go completely and fell into the waiting, loving arms of Jesus.
He caught me, dusted me off, and excitedly offered to walk with me hand-in-hand.
God wanted me to trust Him and make decisions that will make me more like Him. Well, thanks to this preceptorship, I now know Him in a much deeper way…so I trust Him more than ever. As I walk with Jesus hand-in-hand, He’s continually making me more like Him. That process will never end, but that’s okay because I never want to let go of His hand.
“Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever! Amen.”