Full disclosure: technically I’m writing this blog a day late (Feb 12) but still going to post it as a Feb 11 post to keep the tradition alive 🙂
This past week was a fun one, especially the day before my birthday (Feb 10)–I spent almost the whole day (from about 12:45 am until 9 pm) on L&D at the hospital with a friend who was in labor. I was there as her birth photographer/videographer/support person. For the OG readers of this blog, you may realize the symbolism of this–a little before my 21st birthday, I created this blog after witnessing my first ever birth. I’d been talking for months about how much I wanted to see a birth and then somewhat out of the blue, an OBGyn at work met me and randomly asked if I want to come watch her patient deliver a baby. I was so amazed at how God answered the prayer I hadn’t even really prayed and He gave me a desire of my heart to see a birth for my 21st birthday. This then made me realize how much grace and blessing He pours out each day that I probably rush past and instead wanted to start reflecting on–hence the first ever post on this blog: “A blog (and baby) is born.”
So it was special that the day before my 32nd birthday, the Lord gave me the privilege to help a friend bring her new baby girl into the world (mom and baby are happy and healthy). It was fun spending the whole day 2/10 in the hospital (and I had worked all day 2/9, then got home from work pretty convinced my friend would be heading into the hospital soon, so instead of sleeping, I actually showered and got ready, just waiting for the text…but then she hadn’t texted so around 11:45pm I was just about to get in to bed and get some sleep when I got the text and excitedly turned around, packed my bags, and headed to the hospital, and sent a text to cancel my clinic!). It was definitely a long day but such a sweet time with my friends as they prepared to become parents of 2 kiddos (I got to be at their first birth in 2021 too!). Then I left the hospital around 9 and went straight to a restaurant where my parents and Roshan were waiting for me for my birthday dinner (technically they had already eaten dinner and were just waiting for me to join them, but then I arrived and ate my dinner too). Super sweet–Roshan flew in just for my birthday weekend–he’d arrived earlier Friday afternoon but I finally saw him at dinner that night. And my parents have been here since the beginning of February–they brought their new puppy Dallas as an early birthday present for me (I told them having a puppy to hang with will be the best present!).
Okay, back to Friday night Feb 10–we then headed home after dinner and I got some great (much needed!) sleep. Slept in and woke up on my birthday grateful for another year. Spent time with my family (plus Winston and Dallas!) then we went out for my birthday lunch at The Cheesecake Factory, came home and rested, then went to the dog park, then had a birthday dinner and hangout with some friends. Today we slept in, streamed Roshan’s church in NY (oh yeah, Roshan moved to NY this past winter!), rested, went to the dog park again, then watched the Super Bowl (aka I watched the halftime show and a few commercials). Now I’m in bed writing my birthday post before I go to sleep and start the work week. And I’ve got more birthday fun the next few weekends–celebrating next weekend with a sweet newer friend who has become one of my closest friends recently. The following weekend I’m flying out to FL for a week celebrating with Leah. Then heading to NY to visit Roshan and have more celebration (yes, I’m just extending my birthday celebration the whole month of February and half of March too haha).
This past year was filled with so many adventures. I traveled quite a bit–Nashville 2x (both trips involved checking out jobs, one trip my parents came with me, the other trip my friend group here came with me!), St. Pete (also for a job but bonus is my parents got to come and Leah drove out and stayed with me at the sweet hotel on the boardwalk in St. Pete!), Banff (SO gorgeous and definitely one of my favorite locations ever), Tulsa (taught at the METS conference and saw many friends, got to stay with the wonderful Lee family and then with my sweet Norma), Roseburg OR (stayed with Anca while I live streamed CME during the day and spent all the other time with my Dauer fam), Amsterdam and Dubai (went with 2 friends, stayed with family in Dubai), home to Indiana for Thanksgiving (3 friends + one friend’s mom came from MN to IN to join!), then hosted family Christmas at my place.
I thought through a lot of different things regarding my job–felt burned out at one point and had to take a step back and be honest about what needed to change in order for me to keep going as a doctor. Considered other clinics, but just 2 weeks ago felt confident that I need to stay where I am at least for the near future (it was almost a year long process of considering various jobs). It helped me to realize that this decision doesn’t have to be permanent and that I should regularly take inventory of how I’m feeling and how God is leading. I’ve had some sweet moments with patients and have definitely felt the work is rewarding, though it is very draining at times.
Speaking of draining, one specific day in December, I felt like I metaphorically hit rock bottom and was just exhausted in every meaning of the word. Got some labs done the next day and found out once again that my Vitamin D and iron were very low which was certainly contributing to how I’d been feeling for months (though I did a great job distracting myself until that one day when I had no distractions haha). I realized the importance of prioritizing rest in every sense of the word–rest for the body, mind, and soul. I took a step back and stopped being so “accessible” via phone. Instead, I started journaling more, staying at home more, spending more time with Jesus and reminding myself that I need Him to fill me so I don’t feel drained like I’m running on empty.
And He showed up like He always does. I felt Him speak to my heart in various ways and I journaled those moments. I feel so much better now that I’ve been replacing my iron and Vitamin D too. Whole person care in practice haha.
Okay another huge update from this past year–I bought a house and got to make it a home! So crazy. If you’d told me last year that by now I’d be a homeowner, I would have laughed it off. But here I am, writing this post from a room in a home I own. So crazy. So grateful. The home has already been used to host countless hangouts, Bible studies, sleepovers, family, and out of town guests. I really love my home–my favorite part is all the natural light. I also have such wonderful neighbors–just today one of my neighbors dropped off a meal she made that she knows I love. So kind.
I have a lot to be grateful for this past year. I have clearly seen the faithfulness of God in my life. I’ve seen Him answer prayers I’ve prayed earnestly for others and have seen miracles–including Leah having sweet baby Emersyn right before NYE, just like we prayed–that she’d be holding a baby by NYE 2022. His timing is perfect.
And this year, I’m expecting that and more. I’m expecting prayers I’m praying for others and for myself to be answered by the God who is able to do increasingly abundantly more than all I ask or imagine. I want this next year of my life to be characterized by hope. I am living each day hopeful. Expectantly hopeful. My eyes are looking for His hand at work. My ears are listening for His voice. My heart is trusting His heart. And I’ve already caught glimpses of Him at work. He is already fulfilling my hope. And I can’t wait to report back here next year…or sooner. I’ve been thinking I should start reflecting on God’s grace in my life more regularly again. So maybe there will be more than just one post this year 🙂
If you’ve read previous birthday posts, you know I usually try to incorporate a few Bible verses. Here are some that have been on my mind and heart recently:
2 And the Lord answered me:
“Write the vision;
make it plain on tablets,
so he may run who reads it.
3 For still the vision awaits its appointed time;
it hastens to the end—it will not lie.
If it seems slow, wait for it;
it will surely come; it will not delay.
-Habakkuk 2:2-3
20 Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, 21 to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.
-Ephesians 3:20-21
2 And the Lord answered me:
Okay, kinda funny–I usually try to incorporate verses that have the number of my age. But this time, I couldn’t find a verse/chapter with 32 (like Psalm 32 wasn’t really fitting, there is no Proverbs chapter 32, etc. haha). So then I thought, well, I’ll just write the verses on my mind. And as I copied and pasted from Biblegateway.com, I then realized both passages have 3 and 2 in them…so a form of 32 after all! Fun little “God-incidence.”
See–I told you my eyes are more open!
God’s grace in my life today:
I had the blessing of spending my birthday weekend with my family. I loved being part of my friend’s delivery and witnessing the miracle of life again–such a great way to kick off my birthday weekend. Grateful for the friends and community I have here. And thankful that I can live in hope because I know my God is working as I trust Him.