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True Love (didn’t) Wait


 Most of y’all have probably heard of Pinterest. For those of you still living in the Stone Age, Pinterest is a virtual pinboard. You create Boards and can pin pictures (like the one above) onto those Boards from websites you visit or from boards belonging to other people. It sounds ridiculous, right? I thought the same thing…but then I made a Pinterest account. 🙂

Anyway, one of my boards is called “Ditto that.” I coined that phrase a few years ago at a Sox game. It’s the cool way of saying “I agree.” Used in a sentence, one could say “I’d ditto that” or “Dude, ditto that.” Feel free to use my phrase in your daily life and no need to thank me as you feel your coolness level rising higher and higher. 

On my “Ditto that” board, I have various phrases that I would totally say or I wish I had thought of first. I love quotes. Seriously. I judge people based on what/whom they quote  (“judge” may be a bit strong…but you get the idea). 

There are tons of pins on Pinterest about waiting for the right guy. Tons. Single dudes reading this blog (b/c I’m sure my blog attracts a huge population of y’all), if you want to figure out what a girl is looking for, just get a Pinterest account. Forget Facebook. Pinterest is where it’s at. Every girl has multiple “All I want is a boy who…” type pins like this:

It’s ridiculous. I mean, if I met a guy like that I’d be a little concerned about his well-being and mine…please don’t watch me sleep–that’s just creepy. and do you have a job? or hobbies? or does your life revolve around me? give me some space, dude.

But, you know, that’s just me.

However, Pinterest could be hugely advantageous for you guys out there. Again, feel free to use my advice…no need to thank me. 

A few months ago, I began thinking about the word “waiting” as I twisted my “True Love Waits” ring on my finger (mindless habit). Then I slipped the ring off and it’s been sitting in a little jewelry box on my dresser ever since. I didn’t make headlines (“Indian Girl Slips Off Purity Ring…Is The World Coming to an End?!?”), although I’m sure people would have been dying to read that story. Nobody noticed (story of my life) and life went on. But something in my heart changed. 

What made me take off the ring? I wasn’t suddenly advocating pre-marital sex. I hadn’t lost hope and wanted to symbolize that loss by dramatically pulling off my ring. Nope, nothing like that. I just suddenly came to the realization that I’m not waiting for true love, because I already have true love.

“This is how God showed His love among us: He sent His one and only Son into the world that we might live through Him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.”

-1 John 4:9-10

God showed…

God sent…

God loved…

Love came.

I don’t have to wait for love

I don’t have to wait for someone to satisfy me.

I don’t have to wait for someone to give me purpose.

I don’t have to wait for someone to make me feel beautiful.

I don’t have to wait for someone to value me.

Do you get it?

I don’t have to wait for love.

“But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.”

-Ephesians 2:4-5

I don’t have to wait for someone to satisfy me.

{The Lord will guide you always;
    He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
    and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
    like a spring whose waters never fail.

-Isaiah 58:11}

I don’t have to wait for someone to give me purpose.

{The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me;
    Your love, O Lord, endures forever—
    do not abandon the works of Your hands.

-Psalm 138:8

I cry out to God Most High,
    to God, who fulfills his purpose for me.

-Psalm 57:2}

I don’t have to wait for someone to make me feel beautiful.

{For You created my inmost being;
    You knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    Your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.

-Psalm 139:13-14}

I don’t have to wait for someone to value me.

{The Lord your God is with you,
    he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
    He will quiet you with His love,
    He will rejoice over you with singing.

-Zephaniah 3:17}

I don’t have to wait for love.

{For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.

-John 3:16}

So friends, I don’t have to wait for the truest love of all. I literally have everything my heart could ever want.

God, in His great love, took the initiative. He came to me. He pursued me. He loves me when I run away. He continues to pursue me. He takes me back with open arms. He loves me.

Even as I type this, I’m getting chills. 

The Creator of the Universe loves me.

He loves me.

I am loved.

Does this mean I don’t want to get married?

Let me put it this way…

You’ve just had the greatest steak imaginable (or if you’re vegetarian…the greatest carrot? salad? fruit? tofu? Tofu, let’s go with that). No other steak (or vegetarian equivalent) has ever come close to this or will ever compare to this. You are completely full and stuffed to the limit. Do you want more bread? No, you’re too full.

Does that mean you never want bread again?

Of course not.

Granted, the analogy breaks down after that because while that meal will only satisfy for a night, God’s love for me will satisfy for eternity. However, what I’m getting at is this:

I’m fully satisfied in God. 

I’m not anxiously waiting for this page of my story to turn.

I’m content.

My God is too good of a writer to doubt that this story, even with all its twists and turns, can have an ending that’s anything less than perfect.

So I’m trusting Him one day at a time. 

I pray that He keeps my heart soft and gives me wisdom to open my heart to the man who will be my future husband when the time is right. 

But right now, I’m content with loving Him and basking in His love. 

love is here

For what it’s worth, here’s my advice to the church:

love is here

All the single ladies:

Be so satisfied in God that you’re not itching to turn the page. Stop looking around the corner. Stop picturing your life together with that guy who hasn’t even asked you out. Stop thinking that you need to please God so He’ll give you what you really want: a husband. Stop thinking that you’re not good enough, that you’re too good for this, that this isn’t how you expected your story to turn out. Enjoy the part of the story that you’re living in right now. Spend time in the Word, cultivate deep friendships, and take joy in being single. Wait on the Lord, but understand what that truly means. Don’t stop living because you’re waiting. Love the Giver and trust Him with the gifts. Joy is found in Christ alone. He is the ultimate prize. He is the goal. He is the treasure. Don’t live your life on pause…hit play and enjoy the story He’s crafting. 

love is here

Bachelors to the Rapture:

Man up. For real. Stop messing around with girls’ hearts. If you want a girl who looks like Esther and submits like Ruth, you better start praying like David and living like Paul. Better yet, be more like Jesus every day. Be a man of the Word. Learn more Bible verses and less pick up lines. Don’t take flirting lightly. Don’t take dating lightly. Don’t take your promises lightly. Make decisions and stick to them. Seek God earnestly, be accountable to godly men, and become the man that a Proverbs 31 woman would be proud to call her husband.  Don’t be desperate for a girlfriend (PS not only is that bad for your heart, but it’s also super unattractive), but be satisfied in God (see note to single women). Find your joy in Christ, and get to know His heart. Pursue a girl with the intention of marriage…and that means making wise decisions financially, personally, and spiritually. In Elisabeth Elliot’s words, “Our father told my brothers, ‘Never tell a woman you love her until you are prepared to follow that statement immediately with “Will you marry me?”‘ I believe all of them took his wise advice. All have stable marriages.” Be wise, men. 

love is here

I like you/You like me/We want to be a happy family (yeah, I just referenced Barney. I went there.):

If you’re a guy and you like a girl, pray earnestly and seek the advice of godly people–parents, married couples, friends, pastor, etc.–and listen to them. I definitely believe that the Lord can tell you what you need to hear without using other people, but when our hearts are involved, we often mistake the Lord’s voice for “this is what I want and it’s not that bad, so I’ll just say ‘the Lord is leading me to do this’ and call it a day.” You know that voice. So take to heart what those godly people tell you and take an honest look at what the Lord is telling you. Make sure this is a woman with the qualities of a godly wife, not just a hot girlfriend. If it’s green lights all around, then be a man and ask the girl out. Don’t ask her friends if she’s interested. Just man up and do it yourself

love is here

If you’re a girl and you like a guy, just keep doing your thing. Go to school/work/church and carry on as usual. Be like Rebekah who carried about her daily routine of drawing water, when God used that very chore to reveal her as Isaac’s future wife (Gen. 24). In Elisabeth Elliot’s words, “Mother told me, when I was about thirteen, ‘Never chase boys! And always keep them at arm’s length!’ She assured me I would never find myself in a compromising position if I kept those simple rules. I kept them.” Do the same. Don’t throw yourself at the guy or spend hours talking about him with your friends. Pray, pray, pray, and enlist a select few godly people (include your parents if possible) to pray. Find your joy in God and trust that He will lead the right man–whether it’s your current crush or not–to you at the right time. Trust the Giver with the gift.  

love is here

Dating couples:

In the words of Elisabeth Elliot, “Keep your hands off, your clothes on, and stay out of bed.” She also mentions keeping your lips to yourself. Read the links at the bottom for more on that. So fight for purity, and then get married or break up. And if you break up, don’t get back together multiple times. That just makes you the Ted and Robin (HIMYM) or Ross and Rachel (Friends) of the group…we all love you guys, but for the love of puppies, make up your mind! Date and if there are no red flags (godly couples/parents/friends can usually spot those red flags waaayy before you, so listen to them), marry each other. And have a short engagement. If you date and there are major red flags, break up. I’m not advocating breaking up whenever there’s a problem…I believe quite the contrary. But if you’ve prayed about it and if the godly people in your life are also advising you to break up and stay away, then do so. And stick to your decision

love is here

Married couples:

Give advice. Pour into single people. We exist, don’t ignore us 🙂 You were there once, so tell us about the mistakes you made and help us avoid those mistakes. Don’t pretend to be perfect, because we all know you’re not. And that’s ok. Be an example of what a godly marriage should look like. Be an example of what godly parenting looks like. Tell us what we need to hear. But please don’t play with our hearts. Don’t try to matchmake just because it’s fun for you. Don’t mess with vulnerable hearts. If you’re going to matchmake, do so only after you’ve spent much time praying about that.

love is here

God’s grace in my life today:

I am loved and incredibly satisfied in Him.

love is here

*Disclaimer*: I do not represent Pinterest in any way, shape, or form. I’m not against purity rings in any way, shape, or form. Also, I have no qualifications for giving the advice above except that I love Jesus and I study His Word and heart diligently. 

For resources from people much more qualified to give advice than I am, check these out:

Learning to Wait

Elisabeth Elliot Newsletter

And here’s a post by a kindred spirit with a story similar to mine (so encouraged to read this!):

Grace for the road

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6 thoughts on “True Love (didn’t) Wait

  1. EXCELLENT!!!!!! The BEST author/books I could have ever read (aside from the Bible) during my single years was Ellizabeth Elliot. She is Indeed the QUEEN! And every Single OR married woman should read her work. I totally felt she helped me to successfully navigate and most of all ENJOY my single years! Now that I am on the other side of the fence; married with kids, I see her wisdom even more clear, and I am soooo glad I enjoyed that time in my life! Great Post Roshini!

  2. Oh Roshini! You make me laugh! BTW I just love how God allows us to read/see things that we need to see at the right moment! I really needed to see this post!

  3. Can I just say that I think this is the best blog you have ever written?! Not that the others weren’t good (they were) but wow, this was VERY well put bestie!! You made me laugh, got serious, then got sassy/admonishing all in the same blog…well done girl, well done. I don’t think I have ever heard these concepts put quite so eloquently and profound as what you put together here. You covered all the bases too, addressing single guys & girls as well as dating & married couples. I am proud of you for speaking out and saying it like it is. I hope that people will take it at face value and take it to heart. I was encouraged by it and I hope others are too! Love you! (And I miss you a lot)

  4. P.S. Barney is “I love you, you love me, We’re a happy family, with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, won’t you say you love me too.” Soooo yea, that wasn’t really referencing Barney…lol just sayin (and yea I just went there! Haha).

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